Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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