A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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