We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
do herpes really smell.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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