I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
