You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
