This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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