We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
