All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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