i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have feelings that need drinking.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
