Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
