Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
