He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
