The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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