Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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