He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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