The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
