Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
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