Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize