i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I see more hoeing in ur future
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