ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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