That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
