I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize