Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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