Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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