I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.