i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
