I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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