i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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