i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
