Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
