How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize