I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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