What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
