Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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