i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
