it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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