I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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