just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
