idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
