So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
