I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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