Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He felt like a one man threesome
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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