bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
there is glitter all over my balls
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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