my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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