What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
