I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
