so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have post one night stand depression
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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