I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
