I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
