chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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