dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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