so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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