I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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