This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize