that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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